Dear J.T. & Dale: I have been actively searching for a job for five months now, and can’t figure out why I get interviews but no offers. I have even contemplated the idea that I can’t get hired because I happen to be a very attractive, younger-looking 32-year-old. Am I crazy for even thinking that? — Jade
Dale: One problem with the job market is that you rarely know why you didn’t get a job. So your mind starts guessing and second-guessing. I just experienced it myself — I was a finalist for a consulting project, and when I didn’t get it, I started rethinking everything about … Hold on. J.T. is over here giggling.
J.T.: No, go ahead.
Dale: Oh, I get it — no, I did not worry that I was too attractive. In fact, I learned that they didn’t hire anyone.
J.T.: Which is all too common. But, backing up, all the studies show that attractive people are more employable and make more money. So, I’d have to guess that something about your body language or communication style is making people shy away from hiring you. To get that missing feedback, reach out to any hiring managers or HR folks you know and see if you could do mock interviews.
Dale: If nothing else, videotape yourself and watch it with a friend, keeping this in mind: The interview isn’t about qualifications (those are pre-screened via your resume), but about deciding if you’re someone the hiring manager wants to work alongside. That goal changes what it means to “look your best.” My mother startled me the other day by referring to a family friend as a “sexpot.” Apparently, Mom felt this woman wore too much makeup and heels that were too high. Who knew? With four generations in the workplace, “appropriate” dress can be tricky. So, try this: A day or two before you go into a company for a job interview, park outside the office at lunchtime or after work and see how people dress and act. You aren’t dressing to look your best, you’re dressing to make potential co-workers comfortable around you.
J.T.: And that’s the right mind-set — you’re not trying to impress them but to engage them, to let them know you’re there to help. That’s the most attractive trait of all.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
To Jade’s last question: yes? Haha, too attractive is a terrible “problem” to have. I’ve never heard of that hindering ANYONE in ANY social or professional setting. It’s always the attractive admin or analyst that gets invited to the baseball game (not the broker who actually deals with clients).
I think your advice is great though–something else could (visually) be shutting down the interview and anyone can benefit from watching themselves and how they “fit” in with a group.
June 12th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Yeah, the point about all those studies that show that attractive people do better professionally is an excellent one.
I will also add, and I apologize in advance if this sounds overly harsh: Thinking it’s because you’re too attractive is … well, it’s an unusual assumption to make. Is it possible that you’ve focused too much on the outer appearance stuff and not enough on what you bring to the table, and that’s coming across to interviewers?
June 12th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
@ Devin & Ask A Manager
Thanks for the comments. I agree with you both, the visual element of communication is always underestimated by job seekers. 93% of communication is non-verbal, so there must be some body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice that is causing the lack of job offers.
As for a job seeker thinking they might be too cute, I would love to speak to some ultra-good looking people to see how they view their beauty as a curse. Everything has its downside - being PHAT included. They may make more money, but I’d like to know at what price. Know any hotties who might share their experience in the working world with us?
June 14th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
I do beleive that in many intellectual fields, one can be
too good looking to be taken seriously by others. In particular, if you are a woman, I think the sad truth is that for top jobs in intelectual fields, it helps to play down your looks due to stereotyping and intense jealousy.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:49 am
Someone along the line was obviously clever enough to get a bunch of free news publicity for this story.
June 18th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
She’s well aware of her sexual attractiveness but not her job skill marketability? Interesting.
Well, going by what is stated here (i.e. zilch), for all we know she could’ve been applying for an Windows 2003 Admin position and somehow revealed in the interview that she had no clue what “AD” stands for, or something else.
Without THOSE essential details, how can you say one way of the other? Just sayin’…
June 25th, 2008 at 4:21 am
J.T. & Dale, to your last question, I’ll certainly answer any ‘hottie’ questions you have.
July 29th, 2014 at 9:57 pm
richards@dissonances.powers” rel=”nofollow” onclick=”javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview (’/outbound/google.com’);”>.…
tnx….