Dear J.T. & Dale: At a recent job review, my boss told me that my writing skill, which I’d been told by previous employers is my greatest strength, is, in her opinion, my biggest weakness. I was shocked. I like my job and want to stay, but I’m finding it difficult to cope with the fact that I am working for someone whom I don’t see eye-to-eye with. — Melissa
J.T.: To start, I’d look at the good news — at least you know what your manager wants you to work on — some people never know! Moreover, you like the job. So, this is a matter of looking at the situation from a different perspective. If you think of your manager as your client — one to whom you sell your services by being her employee — then it should be easier to accept that you need to give her what she wants, even if you don’t agree with it.
Dale: Speaking of a new perspective, here’s one: Criticism can be a compliment. I’m not talking about nagging or carping, but about sincere opinions about how you can get better. A boss who doesn’t really care about you will likely take the easy way out and just give you all high ratings and compliments. Everybody is happy … but is anyone learning? For your boss to make suggestions proves that she cares about you and your work, and proves that she thinks you can get even better. If you think of such criticisms as compliments, you will get better. If you merely take affront, you’ll find it “difficult to cope” and will merely get defensive.
J.T.: But I can see, Melissa, why you’d be confused by your manager’s criticism. After all, you’ve been praised for your writing by other managers. So you’ll need to look at this as an opportunity to broaden your writing appeal. Writing effectively comes in many forms, and while you may prefer your current style, there is nothing wrong with figuring out how to write in a way that others might appreciate more.
Dale: Here’s what might be happening: Most business writing should be so clear that the style of the writing disappears. If previous managers have complimented your writing, it may well be that you are over-writing, calling attention to your style. Your manager’s approach to writing may be a revelation for you, giving you more options. And what if your boss is all wrong about writing? Well, one exercise used in writing classes is to try writing poorly … knowing what’s bad helps you appreciate what’s good.
August 11th, 2008 at 6:29 am
J.T. and Dale make a great point — there are many different ways to write effectively. It may be that you are indeed a strong writer but that you need to learn a different style (or drop a voice altogether) for this particular job. Or your current boss might be an extraordinarily picky editor — if this is the case, as annoying as that can be, count yourself lucky — you may leave this job having learned how to take your writing to the next level, something that less stringent editors can’t teach you.
It’s an ego blow, for sure, but try to get beyond that and hear what she’s actually saying to you — try to look at it as an opportunity to stretch yourself and improve your skills, even if they’re already quite good.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:29 am
I also think the that if everyone prior to this boss praised your writing, then it is possible that this current boss has a serious ego problem , may be immature and insecure, and is cutting you down in the key area where he/she knows you are the strongest, a) just because he/she has the power and can, and b) this allows him/her to feel a sense of power and control and basically more powerful than you who they feel threatened by because of your superior skill. Many insecure bosses do this, sometimes unconsciously. If you think this is what is going on, then there is nothing you can do to improve their personal problems. It will only get worse if you try to accomodate their constant criticisms, and to try hard to do whatever they ask for as the prior comments and JT and Dale has recommended. They are all assuming the boss is normal and rational. In my experiences, this seems to becoming more rare than the norm. I know because I was in such a situation as yours. There are many out there who should not be a manager over others.
So, if that is your case, the best you can do for yourself is to find another job immediately before this boss erodes your self-confidence into the ditch. You will have far more injury to overcome and heal from if you stay and endure the increasing torture sure to come.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
I noticed that this is not the first time at all that you write about the topic. Why have you chosen it again?
July 29th, 2014 at 6:11 am
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