Dear J.T. & Dale: Now that I’ve graduated college, I’ve been told I should find a mentor. First, I don’t know how to find one. Second, I’m not sure what I want to do yet, so I don’t see the point in wasting someone’s time. — Evan

Dale: We’d certainly agree that you shouldn’t waste someone’s time. However, if you’re looking to rationalize away the work of finding mentors, you’ve come to the wrong place. It’s absolutely worth your time; the issue is how to also make it worthwhile for the people you seek out.

J.T.: I did some seeking out of my own: I had a conversation with Kevin Martinez, who’s an associate publisher at Harper’s Bazaar and 2008 Mentor of the Year for the magazine industry. Kevin suggests starting by identifying people who are accomplishing things you’d like to accomplish and setting up informational interviews on the best way for you to achieve your goals.

Dale: I know, Evan — you already said you don’t know what you want to do. But J.T. is talking about the overriding goals of doing interesting work around admirable people. You don’t have to figure out ahead of time your life’s work — all you need to do is spot people doing interesting work.

J.T.: As for contacting those people, Kevin tells us that the ones who are willing to work with his busy schedule are the ones who get his ear: “I always appreciate when people ask if I can meet with them early in the morning or late in the day. It shows they are flexible and that they understand that I also have a job to do.” Kevin further suggests that you do your homework: “Asking me to tell you about the publishing business is not going to get me excited about mentoring you. I expect you to already have done your research and come with clarifying questions that can help me fill in your gaps in knowledge. That shows me you know how to use me as a mentor.” (There is much more to learn from Kevin Martinez, and I’ve posted my entire interview with him at jtanddale.com.)

Dale: The point is that you can’t expect anyone to tell you what you should do with your career or life. If they do, run. And you shouldn’t go in expecting them to get you a job, either. Instead, let them know you want to gain from their experience. Therea big difference in reaction between asking for help and asking for wisdom. Start with the latter, and you’ll end up with the former.