Dear J.T. & Dale: One of my colleagues is giving me trouble. She and I do the same job, but she has become a control freak. I cannot stand people who are not a superior but who make it their job to boss you around. This co-worker is close friends with our supervisor, and other colleagues tell me it is pointless to complain. What should I do? — Jeremy

Dale: First “love contracts” and now “control freaks” — no wonder companies are moving toward remote employees working at home.

J.T.: Back at the office … I would NOT approach your supervisor, Jeremy. Your co-worker will surely hear about it, and it could create distrust and strained communication. Instead, I would try a “C sandwich” on your co-worker — that’s putting a Concern between two Compliments. You’d tell her how you admire her commitment to the department, then say: “Sometimes I feel as though you are acting like my boss instead of my peer. I struggle with it because I like to work on my own. I was wondering if you could give me a bit more space.” Then you’d thank her for considering your suggestion and repeat your admiration for her work.

Dale: That’s a good start, but a “control freak” is not going to just stop controlling. Such people need rules and lines. And the perfect time to create them is when she says — and everyone who gets criticized says this, even if it’s hidden in the sandwich — “Give me an example.” You have examples of the most annoying issues ready, and instead of arguing about them, you have a solution — that she’s free to do X and Y, but not Z. You give her some new parameters, and within those she is free to exercise control. Done properly, she’ll have her sense of control, and you’ll have freedom within it.

© 2008 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.