Dear J.T. & Dale: My boss hired a woman, and now they are dating. This is in direct violation of policies listed in our company handbook. I called the company’s anonymous hotline for reporting such things, and even though the evidence was overwhelming, no action has been taken. What’s up? — Colin

Dale: Sigh. An anonymous hotline to report romance, eh? That makes me think of the Stasi, the secret police in the old Soviet East Germany. Perhaps you haven’t heard back because they haven’t had time to torture the suspects into a confession.

J.T.: We get your point, but I’m not sure it’s relevant. Indeed, one reason that it appears no action has been taken is that your company may have had the two employees sign a “love contract.” No, I’m not kidding — these do exist. Such contracts confirm that there’s a consensual romantic relationship between the two parties, that no offensive conduct has occurred and that they’ll conduct themselves in a professional manner. Why might your company offer this? Because it allows consenting adults to have a relationship while covering the company from being sued later.

Dale: J.T. is giving me that look, waiting for a rant. But not here, not today. In fact, I hope this catches on, because it suggests a contract I would like to sign. It’s one that would override the new prudishness in corporations, saying that I’m willing to be complimented on my appearance, I’m willing to be hugged and I’m happy to hear jokes, especially dirty ones. Perhaps companies could pass out wristbands according to who has signed the contract and who hasn’t — one color for the prigs and one for the libertines.

J.T.: I can’t tell if you’re joking, but I can tell you, Colin, that the upside of the company’s “love contract” is that it doesn’t require disciplinary measures against either party. So, while it may appear that they’ve taken no action, they may have worked out a solution, after all.

Dale: A solution that recognizes that when men and women work together, there are going to be romances. To try to outlaw them is folly. My wish for you, Colin, is that you either find romance or else a major new project at work, and no longer have time for the anonymous hotline.