Dear J.T. & Dale: I work at an ad agency and like my job a lot. Problem is, one of my bosses seems to passionately hate my work. Every piece of it is ripped apart, and he often writes in capital letters, as if to show me how stupid I am not to follow his ideas. But I need to have my ideas mixed in too. Some of my ideas have won international prizes. I don’t want to spend my time 10 percent working and 90 percent explaining/rewriting. Is there a way to deal with it? — Shelly

Dale: You remind me of a story an old boss of mine used to tell — The Hairy Arm. He’d worked at one of the country’s largest ad agencies, where there worked a creative director famous for feeling the need to make a change in any artwork submitted to him. So the creative team countered by intentionally putting in some flaw for the boss to object to. On one occasion, an artist drew an exceptionally hairy arm in the foreground of the ad, and sure enough, the creative director insisted on it being redrawn. Meanwhile, though, the rest of the ad was left untouched — and that was the point. Hence, inserting an intentional blunder came to be known as The Hairy Arm technique.

J.T.: That creative director was probably like your boss, Shelly — he feels the need to make a “contribution.” Such bosses try to demonstrate a “sense of urgency” about their input any way they can, such as putting comments in capital letters. It’s just the way they work. Here’s what to do about it: Meet with him and explain that you’d like to work more collaboratively and that you are concerned that he isn’t satisfied with your efforts. Tell him that you want to solicit his input on how your first drafts could get closer to a finished product. It’s what’s known as “managing up.”

Dale: Yes, by inviting his advice early on in the process, a reduction in corrections becomes a victory … HIS victory. But, please don’t go into that conversation thinking you’re offering him a Hairy Arm — that is to say, don’t make it just an attempt to manipulate his management. You need to learn to welcome criticism. When you have a manager who simply says, “Brava!” to everything you do, you have a manager who isn’t teaching you anything. It’s an honor to have someone who wants you to be better — it’s a compliment to you and your potential. So don’t go into meetings with your boss feeling defensive, thinking about all your awards and what a star you are; rather, go in thinking that you’re going to learn the art of giving customers (that’s what your boss is) what they want, and more. You’ll get better and, if you’re wise, you’ll give your boss plenty of credit.