Dear J.T. & Dale: I recently landed a job at a small tech company. I like the work and the people, but the other employees are all pot smokers, sometimes lighting up at the office. Should I just say no and try to ignore it, or move on? — Gary

Dale: Thank you for your question, Gary. It got J.T. and me reminiscing about all the strange workplaces we’ve found ourselves in. One of my first jobs sounds a bit like your situation. It was an “anything goes” environment, which was fun till the lax standards showed up in the company’s ethics and there was talk of the owner being called before a grand jury. That’s when all the good-time clients rushed for the exits.

J.T.: And when I was in college, I got my first cocktail-waitressing job at a local bar that was packed every night. The seasoned waitress I worked with was friends with the regulars and joined them in drinking and doing other substances. She’d sometimes take off, and I’d be left to work the entire bar by myself. At first I didn’t mind, because the tips were insane. But, one night things got rowdy and a fight broke out. I had to take the keys from several regulars and call them all cabs. They got vocal and aggressive toward me, to the point that I was scared to death. When I went in the next day, the manager just laughed it off. I gave my notice. I knew if this behavior was considered OK, things eventually were going to get uglier. Which takes us to the real issue for you, Gary: Is it the kind of company you want to stay with for the long term? What is the caliber of work getting done, and how does it affect the success of the business? In my experience, when there aren’t any limits on behavior, things get more lax until something happens to reel them back in.

Dale: Here’s one of the great lessons of being part of a workplace: You are becoming your co-workers. Just as, over time, water is stronger than rock, so does a personality get shaped by those that surround it. The real goal for finding a workplace is finding one filled with people we admire, then living/working up to their level.

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Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a professional development specialist and founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell.com. Dale Dauten’s latest book is “(Great) Employees Only: How Gifted Bosses Hire and De-Hire Their Way to Success” (John Wiley & Sons). Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via e-mail, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.

© 2009 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.