Dear J.T. & Dale: I am 30 years old and completed a bachelor’s degree in business management last October. My employer provides tuition reimbursement, and I decided to pursue an additional degree so I can meet more qualifications for positions with this employer. However, as positions open, I am continually turned down. I currently do most of the work for my boss, but when interviewed for a similar position, I was turned down because of my lack of supervisory experience. The more I receive these refusals, the more I am beginning to dislike my job and employer. – Melanie

J.T.: An employee-employer relationship is similar to a dating relationship, and yours has reached the point where the initial glow of getting to know each other is over. Now, whereas you want to take the relationship to the next level, they want to leave it casual. My guess is that the repeated denials for growth opportunities means they don’t see the potential in you that you see in yourself. So, I suggest you start looking for a new job.

Dale: I hope you aren’t suggesting that Melanie try using another employer to manipulate her current one.

J.T.: No. In most cases, it’s better to move on than to accept a counteroffer. But Melanie has an image problem, and it won’t be fixed until she takes control and shows her current management she’s not dependant on them.

Dale: Then again, maybe she really isn’t ready. So while you’re looking for a job, Melanie, you also might go to people at the company who have been promoted and ask them how they did it. You need to figure out what’s holding you back. That way, you won’t just be ready for advancement, you’ll learn to demonstrate the ways in which you’ll thrive in your new job.