Dear J.T. & Dale: For nine months I have been job searching. Since I have been called back in for multiple interviews, hiring managers see something that they like. However, when I have asked the hiring managers for feedback, the answers range from, “I can’t release that information” to “Everything was great, we just felt that this wasn’t the right fit for you.” Any advice for me? — Gavin

Dale: If Shakespeare were writing today, instead of “All the world’s a stage,” I think he might write, “All the world’s a courtroom.” In our litigious society, managers are careful not to say anything (your first example), or not anything negative (second example), much less something as blunt as, “You were the best but we hired the VP’s cousin.” So you aren’t going to get feedback … unless you get it during the interview itself. Ask hiring managers how you compare with other candidates or what hesitations they might have, and you might get useful information when you’re in a position to address it.

J.T.: Meanwhile, locate former managers and your most trusted mentors and reach out to them. Be humble and open about what you are experiencing. Let them know that you are looking for feedback and guidance. You’ll get suggestions, but also, you’ll be refreshing your references. The next time you have an interview with a company for a job you really want, you need to encourage the hiring manager to contact some of those you’ve asked for advice. In doing so, you show your confidence in your skills and ability to succeed. Further, having those preparatory conversations will shore up your confidence — and anyone working on a lengthy job search can use reinforcement.