Dear J.T. & Dale: I’ve been on interviews where the HR manager has been late up to 20 minutes. I’ve had HR managers have the wrong resume when interviewing me, and have had HR managers dressed worse than I was. I get very upset dealing with HR managers who sit behind their desks acting like they are doing me a favor by interviewing me and then say, “You’re not the fit we’re looking for.” How do I get a second interview? — Bruce

J.T.: As much as we try to hide our emotions in an interview, the reality is that frustration shows.

Dale: And the tough-love truth, Bruce, is that those HR folks are probably right about you. A job is more than doing the job; it’s cheerfully enduring the petty annoyances that come along with any organization.

J.T.: First, a bit of empathy for HR managers. They are inundated with resumes, pushed to find the “perfect” candidate, and dealing with job descriptions being changed daily by management. It’s just not easy. Your ability to have compassion for their situation will serve you well in an interview.

Dale: OK, but I want Bruce to see the Big Picture, to take on the critical life skill of being able to accept whatever is thrown at him with grace and good humor. There’s a book that will help instantly; it’s “Feel Happy Now” by Michael Neill, which might sound like pablum, but is a profound and practical guide to acceptance.

J.T.: It’s true that companies hire attitude. Dressing the part and having the necessary skills just aren’t enough. If you want to stand out, be someone who is approachable, understanding and adaptable. The right candidate has the proper balance of confidence and humility. That’s what gets most people a second interview, and ultimately lands them the job.

Dale: When hiring managers ask who’s the best “fit,” what they are asking is, “Of those qualified candidates, with whom do I want to work alongside every workday?” Your goal in an interview isn’t to give the perfect answers; it’s to be someone they want to talk to again. That’s who gets the callback interview, and that’s the mind-set to take in with you, the person who wants to have a conversation that leaves them wanting another conversation.